Just so tired...

I'm tired. Not of the Lord or His church (that I will never be!), but of trying to be successful in the secular material world. I find myself weak and with no hope that I'll ever be stronger. I hear talks about money but they don't touch my heart 'cause I don't think I'll ever get that money. For unlike the promise of God I have to work hard to fulfill the promise of wealth and success- and I don't think I can. Now I'll bet u r thinking, "What a loser!" right now, and it's true. I AM a Loser. In fact I'll be suicidal except for the fact that the Lord doesn't want me to be so. Does the Lord want me to be wealthy and successful? I don't know. Does He want me to be a good Catholic? Definitely! Will I ever be a succesful, wealth Catholic? I have absolutely no idea. I guess I just have to trust that He wants the best for me, and being successful and wealthy is (hopefully) a part of that. I wish I know, though, whether I'll be successful and wealthy. Then I can go forth confident in my future instead of praying and waiting despondently on the Lord.

P.S. For those of u lucky enough to strive for success in everything u do without a moment's hesitation and/or doubt, thank the Lord for this ability. And pray that the Lord will instill such a motivation in the rest of us.